S1 EP30 – What Your Anxiety is Telling You

Transcript

Hi everyone. Dr. Margaret, Paul here with the Inner Bonding podcast. And today I want to talk about what you’re anxiety is telling you, or anxiety holds a lot of important information for us, but most people want to believe that, you know, or anxiety as being caused by other people or by the way events. But actually these are not, not the major causes of ongoing anxiety.

You know, of course we all experience anxiety and stress regarding painful and challenging life events, but this is very different than ongoing anxiety. Now, anxiety can be physically caused due to a toxic gut, which causes toxicity in the brain. And I’m going to talk about that in a minute. Other causes can be unhealed, childhood trauma, and of course, very painful life events, such as natural disasters or loss of loved ones, loss of financial security, food insecurity, violence, and, and so on, but much current ongoing or, or often when you often feel anxious.

These, this kind of anxiety is generally caused by various forms of self abandonment. You know, anxiety may be the way your inner guidance is letting you know that you are abandoning yourself in numerous different ways. When you feel anxious, do you try and get rid of these feelings? Or do you wanna learn what they’re telling you now? Of course getting, you know, it would have anxiety is big business, especially for the pharmaceutical companies, drug sales for anti-anxiety meds are huge.

This is very sad to me because, well, there are circumstances where these meds are call for much of the time they’re prescribed in an effort to simply get rid of your painful feelings. But our feelings are like a course map, letting us know what’s right or wrong for us, or good or bad for us, or whether we’re being loving to ourselves or abandoning ourselves. And so the problem with meds and other forms of getting rid of your feelings as it leaves you without the roadmap, you need to navigate life in a loving and meaningful and way that brings about joy.

So again, anger, anxiety has major Your information for us. Let’s compare these feelings. So the pain you would feel if you grabbed a hot pan with your bare hands or cut your finger, slicing your hands, veggies, the physical pain of the hot pan or the knife cut is obviously you important information. It’s telling you stop doing what you’re doing. If you numbed your hand before grabbing the pan or cutting the veggies you could, of course badly burned your hand or badly injured your finger.

We need these painful feelings. Let us know when we’re doing something that’s harming us. Now the same is absolutely true of anxiety. So what might your anxiety be telling you, as I said, and one of the main things anxiety is telling you is that you’re abandoning yourself in some way. And there’s many forms of self abandonment that result in anxiety.

You might be abandoning yourself emotionally by ignoring your feelings by judging yourself, by numbing out with addictions or by making someone. And it was responsible for your feelings, which is like getting a child the way your giving your inner child as a way to somebody else. When you emotionally abandoned yourself, your inner child feels just like an actual child who’s consistently ignored or judged or given to someone else to be taken care of. The latter. Lack of Inner love and compassion for yourself might result in stress and anger, anxiety.

If you were to judge an actual child, the way you might be judging yourself, Telling the child that he or she isn’t good enough, or that that child has to be perfect or, or never does anything right. That child would of course feel anxious. So the same happens on the Inner level. You were to ignore a crying baby or child that baby your child would be. Do you feel alone, abandoned and anxious just as your inner child feels when you ignore your feelings, do you ignore the pain, your causing by yourself judgements?

Or do you judge yourself for your anxiety? Do you ignore the deeper existential pain of life? The loneliness, the heartbreak, the grief, and the helplessness over others that are a part of life. When you ignore the feelings you’re causing, or you ignore the painful feelings of life that are caused by others and events, the message to your inner child is that he or she is just not important to you.

Your feelings just don’t matter. Now know, not only feel the anxiety coming from yourself, judgments and from the lies that come from your wound itself, but you exacerbate your painful feelings by ignoring the feelings that you’re causing. It’s like abusing a child and then ignoring the fact that the child is in pain from that abuse. When you feel anxious as a result of yourself, abandonment, and then you further abandon yourself by then turning to various addictions, to numb out the pain and avoid responsibility for it.

You cause even more anxiety since you’re doing anything but loving yourself and your inner child always needs love, or at least some way of filling up the inner emptiness and aloneness that that’s, that you’re causing by the self-abandonment you’re one itself turns to various old learned addictive behaviors of avoiding pain, like junk food or nicotine or drugs or alcohol, or to activities such as TV or work or gambling or spending or masturbate into pornography, turning to any of these addictions, pacifies the pain for the moment, which is how they become addictions.

But because they’re always of abandoning yourself, the lead to more anxiety in the long run, and just as a child would certainly feel very anxious and unloved. If you kept trying to give the child away to someone else to love this, this is how your inner child feels. When you make others responsible for your feelings of worth your feelings of lovability, your feelings of safety, rather than lovingly attending to your feelings with an intention to learn about how you might be abandoning yourself.

Do you pull on someone else to give you attention or approval? Do you try and get someone else to have sex with you? Do you give yourself up to try to get love rather than learning to love yourself so you can share your love. Do you get angry and blaming as a form of trying to have control over others, giving you the love that you’re not giving to yourself. All of these self abandoning behaviors continue to fuel your anxiety, the anxiety, which is your inner child, your soul communicating with you is likely saying I’m scared.

And I feel rejected when you’re not here for me. When you ignore me, my staying in your head, rather than with me and your body, where you try to numb my feelings with addictions, or when you make someone else responsible for my feelings, I feel anxious and pressured. When you judge me and you tell me I’m not good enough, or that I have to be perfect. Or do you try other ways of getting rid of my feelings? I hope you can see that emotional self-abandonment.

It causes a lot of anxiety. Now you might also be abandoned, be abandoning yourself, physically by eating too much sugar or by eating processed foods, ultra processed foods, foods that content that contain chemicals and pesticides foods that are depleting you rather than nourishing your body. Recent research has now proved that an imbalanced toxic gut causes toxicity in the brain, which can result in anxiety.

When you abandon yourself by eating sugar and factory farm and the processed foods, as well as taking various drugs, you deplete your beneficial intestinal bacteria, well feeding the bad opportunistic, toxic bacteria, that toxicity in your gut. Then it goes through the vagus nerve into the brain, which can cause anxiety. If you’re not drinking enough, pure clean water, or you’re eating sugar and processed carbs at night that might be causing low blood sugar.

Then you might be waking up at night with anxiety when we are dehydrated or our blood sugar is low. Adrenaline kicks in to make sure that the brain has what it needs. And the result from the adrenaline is anxiety. And the lack of exercise can also cause anxiety loving yourself physically. It means learning how to eat for your particular body. Getting enough exercise, getting good sleep and drinking enough.

Good clean water. No anxiety can also be caused by financial self-abandonment. You might be abandoning yourself financially by spinning too much money and going into debt or not having a good work ethic and jeopardizing your job living to close to the edge. It can cause stress and anxiety. When you overspend and put yourself in financial jeopardy, or you are so tight with your money, that you don’t let yourself enjoy your life.

You’re likely going to feel anxious. And when you obsess about money, allowing your wound itself to scare you about the future than of course, you’re going to feel anxious. So loving yourself financially is making sure that you earn enough money to take care of your needs, not putting yourself into credit card debt, letting yourself enjoy your life. When the money is there and staying in the present rather than obsessing about the future.

Also anxiety can be caused by organizational self-abandonment. You might be abandoning yourself organizationally, by keeping your home or workplace a mess or always being late or not paying bills or taxes on time when you’re always late, when you procrastinate. And when you allow a lot of things, butter, you’re likely creating a lot of anxiety. Loving yourself means showing up as a loving adult regarding your time and the space, rather than putting your resistant wound itself in charge.

You might as well, and you’ll be abandoning yourself and your relationships by giving yourself up complaining, complying to avoid rejection or conflict. When you give yourself up, you’re actually rejecting yourself, which of course can cause anxiety or for him after trying to control another with anger or blame do to making the other person’s responsible for You, which is another form of self-abandonment. And this also can create anxiety. Maybe you go into resistance to being controlled by yourself partner or by another person, which is another form of self-abandonment.

When you’re resisting, you’re not doing what you want. You’re just reactively, resisting what another person wants of you. What you can also cause anxiety. When you give yourself up to people, you know, please others trying to get approval rather than learning to love yourself. Or do you give your inner child to another person to make you feel loved and safe? You’re going to feel anxious when you try to control others and to giving you what you need to be giving to yourself.

You are likely creating anxiety, loving yourself, and relationships means speaking your truth. And then either moving into an intention to learn and conflict or lovingly disengaging, to take care of yourself, loving yourself means taking full responsibility for your own feelings and learning to fully accept others, loving yourself. It means being kind to yourself and kind to others and anxiety. You can also be caused by spiritual self-abandonment.

You might be abandoning yourself to be originally by closing your heart too. The love and comfort and guidance and wisdom that is always here for each of us. When you shut your heart to love, you might feel empty and very alone inside, which can cause anxiety. If you allow the programmed false beliefs of your wound itself, regarding what God is, which is often like believing that God is some judgmental man in the sky, this might create anxiety, loving yourself, spiritually, his learning to tune in to the truth that God is love and learning to stay open and connected with your higher guidance so that you can know how to take loving for yourself, loving care of yourself in all areas, you have your life.

You’re going to find yourself feeling peaceful and full rather than anxious. When you learn to love yourself, rather than continue to abandon yourself, emotionally, physically, financially, organizationally, relationally, and spiritually. Now another thing that causes anxiety is trying to control what you can’t control, which means that your operating out of a lack of reality.

So I’m going to give you an example about this. One of my classes. And so I’ll call him bread and started to work with me. After his wife, Clara suddenly decided to leave their marriage. They’d been married for five years and Brent thought of everything. It was fine. Then Brent, then Brent became really ill and Carla withdrew. And then she was gone. Brent was devastated. He loved Carla and wanted her back.

However he said, and that she hadn’t been honest with him, even from the beginning of their relationship, because she told him that she had Ashley never loved him. He learned that she had been more interested in his money. He would, he was quite successful then in him, in the divorce. Yeah, it was ruthlessly going after him money. Now, after a couple of months, Brent was feeling in better and he was doing it better. You let go of Carla and started today.

Then Carlos sent him an email where her tone was softer than it had been. And this sent bread, bread back into anxiety. So this is what he said to me is that I’ve been waking up anxious every morning and I’m feeling anxiety a lot during the day. So I said, Brent, what are you telling yourself about Carla? You said, I keep wishing that things were bad. The way they were. I love her. And I want her back.

Her email made me think that things could be back the way they were Brent. I said, Carla left you when you were really sick, she lacked any compassion for you. You told me that you would notice her lack of compassion toward other people as well. Then she told you that she had never loved you. Now, is she going after your money? Even though she earns her own, you’re not in reality about who Carla is.

You’re making her up in. This is what’s causing your anxiety, your inner child, which is your feeling self is letting you, and you know what? This anxiety that you’re off track in your thinking that you can, the thinking isn’t based on reality, your inner child is anxious that you’re going to abandon him by going after someone who is not a loving person while pretending that she is. But brands that I thought she was a loving person.

She is a loving person, deep down. She went to counseling with me. We could work this out, Brent. And I said, this is not who she’s choosing to be. She’s had no interest in going into counseling with you. You’re not accepting the reality of who she’s choosing to be. You’re always going to feel anxious when you don’t accept the reality of things. You keep thinking that if you say the right thing or you do the right thing, not only will she come back, but she’ll be willing to deal with herself and be who you want her to be.

None of this is reality. She’s given you no indication that she is willing to go into counseling with you. No indication that she is even interested in changing. You’re making all of this up and this is what’s causing you anxiety. So Bren said, I know that you are right, but this is so hard. It’s so hard to let go. Yes. I said your wounded ego self wants to believe that you have control over something that you have no control over.

You’re having a hard time letting go of control, but trying to control something over which you have no control will always create anxiety. You’re not being in reality about what you have control over and what you don’t have control over. Yes. Brent said, I can see that I want control over getting Carla to be the way I thought she was.

I don’t even like who she is right now, but I don’t want to accept that this is who she’s choosing to be. Oh, I can see that. I need to accept this reality and not keep thinking that I can get her to come back and be the way I thought she was. Oh, you know what? I’m starting to feel better. The anxiety is going away. So anxiety results for not accepting how things are and from trying to control things that we can’t control when you’re experiencing anxiety, practicing Inner Bonding can move you back into reality, back into loving action for yourself while all of this isn’t by any means a complete list of what causes anxiety.

I hope it’s evident to you. That anxiety has much to tell you when you’re open to learning about how you’re treating yourself and what your telling yourself, by opening, to learning from your anxiety, you can learn so much about your Your and also beliefs, and about the self-abandonment that these false beliefs you are fueling, you might be stuck in the vicious cycle of self-abandonment that feeds upon itself.

You’re not going to permanently get out of the cycle and heal your anxiety until you stop abandoning yourself. And instead, move into the intention to learn about loving yourself, devoting yourself to your Inner. Bonding preface, loving you yourself means doing Inner Bonding whenever you feel anxious, or when you feel anything other than peace and fullness inside, it means getting professional help for anxiety stemming from childhood abuse, right?

Asked drama, avoiding healing, past of view, past abuse and trauma is also a form of self-abandonment. When you learn what you’re telling yourself and how you’re treating yourself, and then open to learning with your higher self about the truth and the loving action toward yourself. And then you take the loving action. You might find that you feel a huge sense of relief.

You might find that loving yourself, rather, other than abandoning yourself and trying to continue what you can’t control, alleviate your anxiety. So of course, I write you come in that you go to the Inner Bonding site. Inner bonding.com. If you don’t know, Inner, Bonding take our free seven day Inner Bonding course, encourage everybody to take our love yourself 30 day course, which teaches you the Inner Bonding process.

Even if you know it, the love of yourself of course, is so helpful and self quest, which is a fabulous way of learning Inner Bonding and you can get all of this. Plus my intro video that outlines Inner Bonding and a package called complete self love for half of what you would pay for all of these products. So really encourage you to look at what we offer for your healing, for your growth.

You can heal yourself, you can heal your anxiety. I wish all of you so much love and many blessings.