S1 EP53 – Owning Your Essential Goodness

Transcript

Hi everyone. This is Dr. Margaret Paul with the inner bonding podcast. And today I want to talk about owning your essential goodness, which is a really, really important topic. I hope you walk with me through this podcast so that you can begin to see and value and love the goodness that you are embracing your essential goodness can move you out of fear and into joy and into the sharing of love. When you learn to own your goodness, you can then experience the goodness and comfort of spirit that is always here for all of Us.

I Was brought up like so many of you to think that I was bad when I was yelled at and criticized, of course, I then assumed it was because I was bad and this false belief didn’t begin to change until I was in my thirties. The first time I even consider that I wasn’t bad was when I was in school training to be a psychotherapist. One of the women in my class was known to be fairly psychic. And one day she said to me, out of the blue, you are so good. I was shocked. No One had ever said this to Me.

Good. I was always trying to prove that I was good. Always trying to get others’ approval to feel like I’m good. Even if it was just For a moment. Even with that, it took a lot more time before I was able to embrace my essential goodness. After spirit brought us in her bonding. I started to think about how I would define goodness. I asked my guidance, what does it mean to be good? And she answered me saying that you’re good. When you never deliberately try to hurt others or get pleasure out of hurting others. This was very eyeopening for me.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I have never and never would deliberately try to hurt others. And if I inadvertently hurt someone, which we all sometimes do, I feel very sad. The idea of deliberately hurting another person and getting pleasure out of it was completely foreign to Me. That’s When I decided that I’m a good person and this has actually changed everything for me because now I don’t need others’ approval to know I’m good. Now I don’t over-give I don’t caretake to get that approval. Now when others are angry at me or blaming me, I don’t take it personally.

I know it’s their issue. Not mine. I no longer take responsibility for other’s feelings. And if I’ve inadvertently hurt someone, I immediately apologize without judging myself for It. When people Do deliberately set out to harm others and get pleasure out of it, it’s not that their soul is bad. It’s that they’ve completely disconnected from their soul and their soul, which is a unique spark of the divine is good. But when they disconnect from their soul, they’re operating entirely from their wound itself, the false beliefs that their wounded self generate fear.

And then they act out in ways that are deeply harmful to themselves and to others. This of course is very bad for our planet. The deep harm regarding systemic racism, mass murders, climate change, food and economic insecurity, all come from people whose wound itself is fully. In-charge a loving adult would never act in ways that harm oneself, others or our planet. I’ve previously Talked about how to define your worth. And I’m going to go over this again. If finding your worth includes many aspects that all come down to owning your essential goodness, Defining your essential worth.

Isn’t about defining you by your intelligence or talents or success or money or looks if you define your worth in these ways. And then if you fail or you lose your money or you get old and lose your looks or start to be forgetful. As you grow older, you will lose worth as a human being when that’s how you define yourself. And it’s never true that we lose our essential worth. Defining Your worth is about owning and embracing your enduring internal qualities, your essential qualities, such as kindness, devotion, compassion, warmth, honesty, openness to learning, sincerity, integrity, generosity, commitment, reliability, and so on.

All these beautiful qualities come from your deep, essential goodness. Yet many people Who do know that they’re caring and honest and compassionate people still don’t own their essential goodness, which means that they’re still pulling on others for approval, such as parents or children, a partner, friends, or employer. Do you give them the authority to define whether or not you’re good enough? Do you find that when you’re you’re, you’re actually going to find that when you own your own essential goodness, you’re no longer going to give authority to anyone else to define whether or not you’re good Enough.

My client marked Mark asked I’m often Played by feelings of jealousy and a lack of self-worth. When I see others do well in their careers, others who have prestigious qualifications from Ivy league universities, to which I was unsuccessful for acceptance. I sometimes feel I’ve missed out on life’s opportunities and that no matter how hard I try, I’m never going to be as good as others. When I don’t succeed against others, I feel this is my fault. And it reflects that. I’m just not good enough.

When I must compete against others for places, opportunities and rewards in life. Would you please help me to understand where I’m an error, how to see the truth. This is an example of the problems that occur when you define your worth externally by performance or achievement, rather than internally by your intrinsic goodness and soul qualities. But the last thing your wounded self wants is for you to own your essential goodness. I’m not good enough is the basis of the wound itself. The basis of the core shame upon which the wound itself operates.

Your wound itself will try to sabotage you and owning your goodness. Because if you know your goodness, your wound itself loses control. The wound itself needs to feel not good enough to believe that if only you do things right, then you can control how others feel about you and how they treat you. Then you can get approval and then you will be okay, maintaining the false belief that you are not good enough is essential in maintaining the false belief that if only you change and do things right, look right, say the right things, make more money, have the right car and so on. Then you can get the approval.

You need to feel that you’re okay. However, it’s never too late to change your mind and define your worth by your essential goodness. Many of us grew up with parents who had no idea that even had a soul essence. My parents thought they were their wound itself and that they were not good enough. So of course, before they could. So, so of course we, because they couldn’t see their essence, their goodness, they couldn’t see mine. So like almost all of us. I also grew up not knowing my essential goodness since my wound itself was programmed to believe that I was not good enough.

I could not see my essence through the eyes of my wound itself. In fact, my wound itself was so convinced that I was not good enough, that she spent a lot of energy hiding my goodness. I could not see my essential goodness till I started to practice inner bonding and began to develop my spiritual connection. My guide was not only showed me my essential goodness. She showed me that everyone is essentially good in their shell, in their soul. She showed me that the essence of all of us is love and individualized expression of the love. That is God, the goodness that has God. She helped me develop the ability to see and relate to people as their beautiful essence, rather than as their wound itself.

Inner bonding is about learning to love yourself, but you cannot fully love yourself until you know what you really are. I encourage you to notice throughout the day evidence of your essential goodness. Notice when you’re kind and caring with others and with animals. Notice when you feel empathy and compassion notice when you’re generous, honest, and operating from integrity. As I previously shared, one of the habits I’ve developed is the exact opposite of self judgment. I have not. I acknowledge out loud to my inner child whenever I behave in a way that truly expresses my goodness.

I tell her how grateful I am that she is within me and that I get to take loving care of her. I Marvel at her kindness and caring and the joy she receives from giving to others. I praise her for her connection with people and with animals. I let her know how much I value her Dietz, her deep sense of integrity and honesty. I mirror to her throughout the day who she really is, but just letting my inner child know this isn’t enough. I also need to treat her as a cherish being. I need to love her by taking loving actions on her behalf, seeing who she is, what she is, is only the beginning, taking consistent, loving action on her behalf, lets her know that I truly love and cherish her, lets her know that she is deeply important to me that she has deep value to me.

If you have children or you’re with others, children, can you see their goodness? One of the things I love doing as a child was making creative things for my parents. I would spend hours designing and building beautiful cards with little poems in them and making special pieces of jewelry for my mother. The only problem was that while my mother would receive her gift sort of graciously, she never received it with her heart. She would smile and tell me how lovely it was, but I never felt her love coming back to me. My mother didn’t know how to open her heart. How to smile at me with love and cherishing in her eyes.

As I said, she couldn’t receive my goodness because she couldn’t see her own. And my father never even noticed the gifts that I gave him. I so wanted to connect with my parents to share love with him, to know their hearts, but their hearts were hidden. Sadly, my mother died at the age of 86 without ever being able to share her heart with me. My father died at 92 and his heart was always closed. Children need to feel your heart and soul. They need you to really see them to see who they really are.

One of the greatest gifts we can give to children is to see their essential goodness. When children are deeply seen and valued, they learn to see and value themselves. All children need this profound mirroring from adults to feel intrinsically good, lovable, and worthy. But of course we can’t see the souls of children and embrace their goodness unless we see our own goodness. If you believe that you’re not good enough, you can’t energetically communicate to children, their inherent goodness, your own feelings of unworthiness will be projected onto them.

No matter how loving you try to be with them in order to meet, children’s need to be seen, loved and cherish. You need to see love and cherish yourself. Your goodness, why not commit to embrace in urines, your essential goodness so that you can see value in deeply share love with both adults and with children. Think for a moment how you pick your friends, are you more drawn to a thin, beautiful, successful person who is arrogant and insensitive or to a kind caring person who might not be so attractive or skinny or rich?

When I asked this question, I almost always hear that people choose kind and caring friends person who says that they’ll pick the successful and arrogant person is usually someone whose wound itself defines them by who they’re seen with when a baby is born, do you value the baby? Because the baby is skinny and rich or do you value the baby? Just because he or she exists. Anyone who has spent time with infants knows that babies are little bundles of love, goodness, and joy, which is why parents are so enamored with them. They’ve not yet learned to cover up their soul’s goodness with the protections of their ego wound itself.

If you really know that this is who you are, would you doubt your value? Is there anything more valuable than love and goodness, when you learn to own your goodness, you’ll find that you have a much easier time connecting with your guidance. Many of us have been programmed with concepts of God that create fears of letting go and letting God the wound itself might say things like, well, God really be here for me. Does God really exist? Will God try to control me? Do I have to give up me to be loved by God? One of my five day intensives where my frequency gets really high, I was talking with my guidance.

She gave me a wonderful image of God, of what gets in the way of our experience of God. She showed me God as being everywhere and always being an infinite flow of goodness and comfort. She pointed out the flowers to me showing me the abundance of God that manifests in so many beautiful aspects in nature. God is always flowing. Goodness, love and abundance to everyone. She said to me, but most people block this goodness from being manifested in their lives because they’re not owning their own goodness.

She then went on to show me exactly how we blocked the goodness and comfort the wound itself. She said wants to make bad stuff happen as a way to continue to feel in control saying I am making the bad stuff happen. Therefore I am in control even of God. However, the wound itself is not really making the bad stuff happened. Rather what’s actually happening is that the wound itself is not allowing the goodness that is waiting to come through to manifestation. Amazing. I thought that the wound itself wants to control so badly as to not allow the goodness to come through. The goodness is always coming because that’s how the universe is.

And the wound, the wound itself stops it by wanting control over it. My guidance then gave me an image of a large flowing river with lush green trees lining it. Then she showed me a big dam that stopped the flow of the river. On the other side of the dam, the earth was dry and arid. The river is spirit. Always bringing you goodness. She said, and the dam is the wound itself. Stopping the flow of the river by the junk thoughts that keep your frequency too low, to allow the goodness to flow within you.

The wound itself then looks only at the arid earth and says, see, I told you God would not be here for us. There is no goodness or abundance for Us. These were very powerful images for me. I could see how our wounded self is so very devoted to control that it can’t even see the goodness and abundance that’s all around us. And it can’t that it’s so devoted to control that it blocks it out. As I looked at the flowers and the trees, I felt overwhelmed by the amount of goodness and abundance.

Tears came into my eyes as I was filled with gratitude for the infinite flow of goodness and abundance that is here for us. If we’re willing to open to it, my guidance then showed me level. After level of ways, the wound itself tries to maintain control. I could see that the moment we feel stressed it’s because our wound itself is wanting to control. And the moment we feel fully open to God, all stress leaves our body. I could see that our wound itself, even though it wants to receive all that God has given is even more interested in maintaining a sense of control over others and outcomes.

But that the true control that we have is in choosing our intention, choosing love over control. The moment We consciously make love more important than control the damn disappears, and we can feel the flow of goodness into our hearts. And the more you allow goodness into your heart, the more you will know that you are a spark of the goodness. That is God. I encourage you to experiment with defining yourself as love and goodness and joy and creativity and passion and a liveliness and compassion and see what happens when you own your essential goodness.

And one way of beginning to do this is to learn and practice inner bonding. A very powerful way of doing this as to join my loved herself course, which you can find@innerbonding.com. There’s so many ways of learning, inner bonding, learning to love yourself, learning, to see and value the goodness that you are. And as I said last week, I’m going to be giving a, an online course and inner bonding that will be coming up in June. So be sure you’re on our mailing list so that you can find out about this very, very powerful eight week weekly inner bonding course.