Are you stuck being a slave of your wounded self, or do you trust your intuition? It is easy to trust and have faith when good things are happening, but it’s harder when bad things happen, or things don’t go our way. Life is much less stressful when we trust that we are always being guided in our highest good by the intelligence of love.
Hi everyone. Dr. Margaret Paul here with the Inner Bonding Podcast. Years ago I read the best-selling book by biologist Bruce Lipton, “The Biology of Belief” where he discovered that every cell in our bodies have little antennae on them that receive their information from the universe regarding how to function. Before this discovery, biologists mistakenly believed that the nucleus of the cell was the brain, and that the cells were informed from within. With this information, Dr. Bruce Lipton went instantly from being an atheist to believing in God – the intelligence of the universe, and he went from feeling lost and miserable to being a happy man. If you haven’t read his book, you might want to watch him on YouTube.
I just finished reading a book called “Evidence of the Afterlife,” by Jeffrey Long, MD. Dr. Long has done a huge amount of research on near death experiences, which is fascinating. Over and over, people who experienced near death experiences around the world, from very young children to older people, experience God as incredible unconditional love and peace.
I know from my own direct experience that the universe is filled with intelligence that we can tap into when we are open to learning about love, so I know that Divine love is the intelligence that creates and runs the universe, and this is what I want to speak about today.
We have all been blessed with inborn ways of connecting with our higher guidance to tap into the intelligence of the unconditional love that is God. We have our feelings which is the most common way our soul within communicates with us, and we have the ability with our right upper brain to access the intelligence of the universe when we are open to learning about loving ourselves and others.
But when we came to the planet as infants, we needed to learn many things regarding our safety and survival, so we needed to develop our left brain mind. In this process, many people lose touch with their inner knowing, their intuition, and their ability to access their higher self. As we develop our wounded self, due to needing to learn strategies for getting love and avoiding pain, we tend to become enslaved by the false beliefs of our lower mind.
As Albert Einstein said, “Intuition is a sacred gift, the rational mind its faithful servant. Sadly we have thrown away the gift and have become enslaved to the servant.”
In Inner Bonding, we often talk about who is in charge – your wounded self or your higher guidance. Most people are enslaved by the thoughts and beliefs of their wounded self – their programmed mind. But the mind is meant to be the servant of our inner and higher guidance, not the master. Why do we too often throw away the gift of intuition, our inner knowing?
Imagine living in a society where people trusted their intuition – trusted their feelings and their higher guidance. Could people in this society be easily controlled by government, religions, or the media? Obviously not, because when you trust your own inner knowing, you are not vulnerable to others’ manipulations and lies.
Our inner knowing has often been ridiculed by parents, siblings, teachers, religious leaders, or others in authority – by anyone who wanted control over us.
By diminishing our trust in ourselves and trust in the intelligence of the love that is God, and causing us to doubt our knowing, they successfully gained that control. How often do you doubt what you know? How often do you tell yourself that the other person knows more than you about what is right or best for you? How often do you squash yourself in order to gain another’s approval, which then serves to further diminish your trust in yourself? How do you feel when you do this? Anxious? Depressed? Angry?
These feelings are, again, your inner guidance, letting you know that you are thinking and behaving in ways that are wrong for you – that you are abandoning yourself to control another’s approval or disapproval. How long are you going to deny your intuition and the intelligence of the love that is God?
We have all been gifted with the tools of inner knowing. Our inner guidance – our feelings – and our higher guidance – our source of love, truth, and wisdom, are trustworthy sources of direct knowing.
In the book “Blink,” by Malcolm Gladwell, the stories clearly show that often what we know in the blink of an eye is far more accurate than years of ‘scientific’ research.
Since our wounded self is based on fear and the desire to control, the last thing the wounded self wants is for you to trust yourself and your higher guidance. The wounded self is a mirror of everyone in your life who wanted to control you and has now taken on the role of being the controller and diminishing your trust in yourself and in the intelligence of love.
Just as society would lose control over us if we trusted ourselves, our wounded self also loses control over us when we trust ourselves. This is what happens as you practice Inner Bonding and learn to trust your feelings and your higher guidance.
I was systematically taught by my parents and my grandmother to ignore and mistrust my feelings.
They always knew better than me. The more I denied my inner knowing, the more control they had over me. This continued in my marriage, where I gave so much control over to my husband, having been taught that men were smarter than women, and that’s what a good wife does.
It was a long hard road back for me, and I embarked on this path only when life became unbearable for me. The aloneness of my self-abandonment was so painful, and I was getting so physically ill, that I finally had to start to listen within.
Now I know without a shadow of a doubt that my inner intuition and my spiritual guidance are truly great gifts. Even though my wounded self likes to act as if she knows truth, I can always tell the difference by how I feel: false beliefs feel bad inside, while trusting my guidance brings me a sense of peace inside.
I can no longer imagine life without being guided by my feelings – my inner guidance – and by my higher guidance. And now, because of this trust, I am no longer vulnerable to being controlled by others, and this is a great freedom!
One of my all-time favorite movie lines is in the Alastair Sims version of A Christmas Carol. Scrooge has just returned from his night with the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. He is thrilled that it is Christmas Day and that he has an opportunity to act on his new understandings of life and love. With his new awareness of what life is really about, he delightedly states, “I don’t know anything! I never did know anything but now I KNOW I don’t know anything!”
Socrates, so many years ago, said something very similar. He said, “One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.”
These are actually very profound statements. What it means to me is that our ego mind always thinks it knows stuff, but the truth is that it doesn’t know anything. A turning point in my life came when I KNEW I didn’t know anything – when I knew that truth doesn’t come FROM my mind, but rather THROUGH my mind.
I always believed that I had to know stuff that I didn’t know, and it made me feel insecure to think that I had to know these things.
But once I understood that my ego mind knows only what it has learned and been programmed to believe, and that most of what it has learned is not true, I stopped judging myself for not knowing things. I no longer expect myself to know things or believe I have to, because now I know I can turn to my guidance for what I need to know. This is such a relief, especially at times like this when our world is topsy-turvy and there is so much uncertainty.
Even in challenging times like now, we can feel the joy and freedom that Scrooge felt when he realized that he didn’t know anything – that all he thought he knew to be truth wasn’t anywhere near the truth. He discovered the truth through the ghosts that his guidance brought to him – and we all have the opportunity daily to discover the truth that our guidance is bringing to us. Why not take this time of social and political upheaval to practice opening to learning with your higher guidance to access what is in your highest good?
What if you fully accepted that you don’t know anything and that you don’t need to know anything? What if you fully accepted that your guidance knows everything and is pleased to pop those truths into your mind when your mind is open to learning?
What difference would it make in your life if you let go of believing you have to know anything?
It has made a world of difference for me. When I work with a client or lead an Intensive, I never think that I have to know anything because I know that everything I need to know to help the person I’m working with will come though me from my guidance. After I finished conducting my first on-line 5-Day Intensive, I was thrilled to experience that my guidance came through just a powerfully as in person. When I write, I know I don’t need to know what comes next because my guidance is doing the writing through me. I’m just taking dictation!
Sometimes I get stuck not knowing what to say or write, and then I just wait. I stay open to the words that I know will pop into my mind – and they always do. Sometimes I have no idea what the rest of the sentence will be! I don’t know ahead of time what I’m going to say or write and I’m often surprised! My guidance never lets me down. Sometimes, at an Intensive, nothing comes and then I know it is supposed to come though another person, so again, I just wait. It always comes.
I really love not having the burden of having to know anything, especially with the challenges we are currently facing on our planet. I love being a receiver for whatever spirit wants to bring through me. I encourage you to embrace what Scrooge discovered and what Socrates knew: “One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.”
Sometimes people confuse instinct with intuition, but there is actually a huge difference between them, and it’s important to differentiate between them, especially right now with so much uncertainly on our planet.
Instinct is about survival. Instinct comes mostly from the lower left part of the brain, the left amygdala. Part of the job of the amygdala is as a survival mechanism responsible for initiating the stress response of fight, flight, or freeze. The left amygdala is also the seat of the wounded self – it stores emotional memories that can get triggered in stressful situations. When instinct kicks in, we are not operating from rational thought, but from survival needs. For example, a newborn infant, as well as all mammals, will instinctively suckle as part of its survival. Instinct is essential for the survival of any species.
Intuition is about spiritual connection. Intuition comes from our feelings – our soul, our source of inner guidance, and from the information that comes through us from our higher self. When you are operating from your wounded self, you are often operating on instinct and are not able to access your intuition.
The more you heal your false beliefs in your wounded self that can trigger the stress response, and the more you learn to operate from your loving adult, the more you have access to your intuition. This is so important right now because we can’t rely on others to tell us how to keep ourselves safe. We need to learn to rely on our inner and higher knowing. We need to learn to trust ourselves and trust the intelligence of Divine love.
We are all capable of intuition. Some of us are born with a stronger sense of intuition than others, but all of us have the ability to develop it. When I first started to practice Inner Bonding, I wasn’t very in touch with my intuition.
Within a few years of practicing Inner Bonding, I started to trust my inner and higher knowing. I tested and tested to see if it was accurate, and now I completely trust it. You might want to consciously test your intuition by listening to it sometimes and seeing what happens, and not listening to it at other times and seeing what happens. This is what I did that led me to trust my inner and higher knowing.
How often have you known something but didn’t trust it, and then later wished you had?
I often work with people who had an intuition about someone they were dating, but because they were attracted to the person, they didn’t trust their inner knowing, and later got very hurt by the person’s narcissism or sociopathy. Their wounded self had discounted their intuition.
They seek my help when they are struggling with the pain of an awful breakup, and when I ask if they had any sense that this person wasn’t trustworthy, they invariably say ‘yes.’
When you learn to trust yourself, you will no longer feel the need to give others authority over you. Your intuition is a great gift; I hope you learn to trust it!
What do people mean when they say, “Have faith”?
To me, faith means that we believe we are always being guided in the highest good of our soul, even when bad things happen. It means knowing that when difficulties occur, we have not been abandoned by our higher power. It means that, even when we cannot see the light, we know that there is a light at the end of the darkness. It means that everything that happens is for the evolution of our ability to love.
Sometimes it is very hard to have faith.
Our wounded self is always devoted to controlling the outcome of things, so when things do not turn out the way we expected, we tend to feel betrayed or abandoned by God. I’ve often heard my clients say things like:
“I try so hard to do things right, so why should bad things keep happening? It’s not fair. Where is God for me now?”
“I’ve prayed and prayed and still did not get what I want. So, what’s the point of all that prayer?”
The problem is that the wounded self tends to do things “right,” or pray, with an agenda in mind. The thinking of the wounded self is that “If I do things right or pray enough, then I can have control over the outcome of things.” The wounded self thinks it knows what is in our highest good, yet it has no idea regarding the highest good of our soul.
Having faith means we trust that our higher self is always guiding us in the highest good of our soul.
It means we remember that we are primarily on a soul journey rather than just an earthly one – that we are here to evolve toward love and joy and the full manifestation of our gifts, rather than to control the outcome of things.
It is easy to have faith when everything is going your way. But what happens when things do not turn out the way you hoped? This is the very time when having faith in the intelligence of Divine love is most important, because without it, you are likely to feel lost, alone, angry, anxious, depressed, or hopeless.
Since our wounded feelings come from the thoughts and beliefs of our wounded self, difficult feelings such as anger, depression, and anxiety may come from thoughts such as, “I am alone in the universe. There is no higher power helping me and watching over me. There is no one in spirit for me to turn to.” When you think these thoughts, painful feelings may be the result.
On the other hand, you can remain inwardly peaceful if you choose to think thoughts such as, “Even though I did not get what I want, I know that my spiritual guidance has my highest good at heart. I know that if I stay open to the intelligence of love and truth, I will be guided in the evolution of my soul. Staying in love and joy and seeking truth are more important to me than the outcome of things, so I will continue to keep my heart open to my higher guidance.”
Having faith that we are always being guided in our highest good supports us in keeping our frequency high. A high frequency allows our spiritual guidance to continue to manifest our highest good for us, even when it does not seem like it.
Some indigenous cultures have a concept that may be helpful in having faith. They believe that when we come into a body, only part of our soul enters the body. The rest of our soul remains outside the body and is what these cultures call a “double.” Our double – our higher self – is the part of our soul that is here to guide us through our earthly journey. Our higher self brings through the wisdom and experience of Divine love. Because our higher self is not limited by the confines of our body, it can see and know things that our mind cannot possibly see and know.
At those times when your mind is quiet and you are open to learning, you can access the wisdom and guidance of your higher self. Then you will know that you are not alone and that you are always being guided toward your highest good. You might want to imagine your higher self as an older, wiser part of you.
The more you practice Inner Bonding, the more experience you will have of your higher self and the more you will be able to have faith when life becomes challenging.
Faith and trust in a Higher Power are two different things. While faith is about believing that we do have a higher power, even though there is no proof, trust is about noticing all the times our guidance has come through for us in big and little ways, and living our lives according to this truth.
Either we trust that spiritual guidance exists for us and has our highest good at heart, based on our actual experience regarding our soul’s journey, or we don’t. When we trust that we are on a profound soul’s journey, and that all that happens is in support of this journey of evolving our soul in our ability to love, we are able to let go of outcomes and stay more in the present.
Imagine how you would feel if you REALLY trusted that you are never alone and are always being guided in your highest good. That would go a long way toward helping you surrender to the process of life and release anxiety.
Try this exercise: think of all the times from childhood to today when you knew that you were being supported by spirit – times you were warned of things, times when something good came from something bad, times when you were in the right place at the right time, times when you felt a presence with you, times when spirit came through another person in the form of help or caring, times when you were deeply guided to help another, times when you knew something without knowing how you knew it.
One of my times for me, which I’ve previously shared, was when I was driving home from the airport one night. I heard a loud voice telling me to slow down. I did, and moments later a drunk driver careened across the freeway directly in front of me, missing my car by inches. Had I not slowed down, I would have been hit broadside and possibly killed.
Another, which I’ve also shared about, is when I was warned to get all my valuable possessions out of my house that I had sold, at least one week before escrow was to close. I got everything out and the next day construction workers accidentally burned down my house.
These are major incidents, but I’ve had hundreds of minor incidents that let me know that I am being guided in my highest good. The key is to not let our wounded self diminish these situations with statements like, “It’s just a coincidence.”
Sally, one of my clients, was struggling with her trust in the universe. I asked her to think about a time when she knew she was being guided and supported. “Well,” she said, “one important time was when I was thinking of quitting college. I had gone to my college that day with the intention of quitting when I ran into an old friend. We sat and talked, and then I went home. It was only after I got home that I realized that I forgot to quit. I stayed in school and finished, and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I know that day spirit made sure I ran into my friend so that I would forget about quitting!
“Another time was when my baby son was in the hospital, very very sick. The doctor said he might not survive the night. I prayed and prayed and put my body over his and sent all of my love into him. Immediately his fever went down, and he was okay. God was definitely with me.” Remembering these times helped Sally to reaffirm her trust in the love and intelligence of the Divine.
I cannot think of a better way to reduce or eliminate anxiety than to decide to trust the universe. When we are in the midst of extreme difficulties, reminding ourselves that we are being guided is a powerful way to stay present and centered and handle the difficulties.
After the trauma of my house burning subsided, I questioned my guidance regarding why I wasn’t warned in a way that could have stopped the house from burning. I was told that because I had lived and worked in that house for 31 years, too much of my energy was in the house. Spirit needed to help me by burning out the energy, so that my health would not be adversely affected by people tapping into my energy. I was told that my house burning was for my benefit, even though it felt so traumatic at the time. In addition, I received more compensation from the insurance than I did from selling the house! What seemed like a disaster turned out to be a good thing.
Because we have free will, each of us has the option of deciding to trust that we are truly being supported by the intelligence of Divine love, that even very challenging situations are all opportunities to evolve our soul in love toward ourselves and others. Life is filled with ups and downs, with good times and bad. It’s important to realize that when bad things happen it does not mean that we are not being supported and guided on our soul’s journey. Inner peace comes when we trust that the intelligence of love always supports our highest good.
I invite you to learn to connect with your spiritual guidance with my 30-Day video home-study course, Unlocking Your Inner Wisdom
And you can learn so much about loving yourself and creating loving relationships from my recent books:
- And, How to Become Strong Enough to Love: Creating Loving Relationships Through the Six-Step Pathway of Inner Bonding
And we have so much to offer you at our website at https://www.innerbonding.com.
And, if you enjoyed this podcast, I would really appreciate it if you tell your friends about it, and if you give it a review wherever you heard it.
I’m sending you my love and my blessings.