I’m grappling with a lot of big feelings in transition yet also feeling very stuck.
I held the commitment of marriage to be a commitment to God for life
I was married for 15 years to an unhealthy man. We had an anxious avoidance cycle. Tried lots of therapy and for years I thought that’s all it was. After some intense events, I had a therapist asked me to read the book. Why does he do that about angry and controlling men and abusive relationships. It opened my eyes and was kind of traumatic to read. I realized my relationship wasn’t ““ normal.”
I talked about it with him and we tried to resolve it for another year, but things got worse. It was a lot more of the mental, psychological abuse, not necessarily physical.
When I finally reached my breaking point, I went to stay at my mom’s with our three kids. He ended up moving out. We did counseling through the church and tried a few more Therapist one of which refused to take our case because of his behavior, and in the midst of working with the other one he filed legal separation.
That process was a nightmare, he has done a lot of gaslighting and triangulating, and managed to get a lot of of my family on his “side” also a lot of our church group has opinions about our relationship based off of his behavior.
It has been extremely disoriented for me to be seen through his lens by so many people. I felt like I’m going insane like I’m going to die. Like I can’t survive in a world that he exists in.
I did survive the separation process and we have been separated for a year.
I have moved from the panic stage of making it through that high stress time into this very deep grief, depression, and hopelessness. Because we are only legally separated I feel like my life cannot start or cannot go on unless he either dies or files for divorce or has an affair.
I recognize I have a lot of I can’t language. But this truly is so difficult. It’s a battle of so many of my values and they are in conflict with each other. Help.
Grief anger transition loneliness hopelessness
Free Inner Bonding Course and Newsletter
In this free course, you’ll learn the foundations of Inner Bonding and begin experiencing how this powerful process can transform your relationship with yourself and others. You’ll learn:
- The hidden underlying causes of anxiety, shame, and relationship conflict
- The 6 steps of Inner Bonding and how they help you heal emotional pain.
- How to begin developing your loving adult self so you can care for your feelings and needs
- How to stop relying on others for validation and create inner safety
- Begin transforming painful patterns in your life and relationships
Most Popular Ways To Learn Inner Bonding
Private Sessions With Dr. Margaret Paul
Private sessions provide the most direct and personalized way to experience the power of Inner Bonding. In these sessions, Dr. Margaret quickly helps you uncover the root of the challenges you're facing so you can begin making meaningful progress — often in just a single session.
The Love Yourself 30 Day Course
This is the most popular Inner Bonding program and the best place to start if you want a complete foundation in the process. Through guided teachings and practical exercises, you'll learn how to practice the six steps of Inner Bonding and begin transforming your relationship with yourself.
