S2 EP312 – Inner Child: What Makes You Come Alive?

Hi everyone! I’m Dr. Margaret Paul and welcome to the Inner Bonding Podcast. Today I’m talking about what make you, your soul, your inner child, come alive. Be sure to stay to the end because I’ll be sharing how you can create more joyful aliveness in your life.

Sometimes I read a quote that sparks ideas for this podcast, and here is the quote for today’s episode by Howard Thurman. “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.” 

I think this topic is one of the most important questions you can ask yourself. So ask yourself right now and see what comes up for you: What makes you come alive?

This is similar to what Joseph Campbell said – “Follow your bliss.” Whatever it is that excites you, brings you joy and makes you feel alive is your true purpose on the planet, as Marsha Sinetar said in her excellent book, “Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow.” How many of you love what you are offering to the planet?

When my three children were young and starting school, one of the things I said to them was, “How you do in school is up to you, and I will love you whether you do well or not. But what I hope for you is that you tune into what would bring you joy to offer the planet.” I never pushed them to get good grades, and likely because they had nothing to resist, they all did really well and are currently doing well. And my grandchildren are tuning into what makes them feel alive. 

Many people live their lives asking:
 
 “What should I do with my life?”
 “What’s expected of me?”
 “What will be approved of?”
 “What will keep me safe and make me enough money?”

Very few people are encouraged to ask: What makes me, my inner child, my true soul self, come alive? What brings me joy to offer the planet? And yet, this question is the doorway to a meaningful, joyful, soulful life.

Coming alive is not about a momentary adrenaline high, and it’s not about external success. Coming alive is an inner experience, a soul experience, and in Inner Bonding, your soul is your beautiful inner child, which isn’t the same as your wounded child.

When you are alive inside, you feel present, engaged, energized, curious, connected, authentic, full, and filled with a sense of purpose and meaning. You feel fully yourself.

Aliveness has a felt sense in the body, such as a lightness of being, a warmth in your heart, a sense of expansion, a deep feeling of joy, and a feeling inside that you are on the right track in your life.

It’s the opposite of numbness, emptiness, feeling like you’re just going through the motions, fatigue, feeling disconnected from a sense of meaning and wondering why you are on the planet, and feeling like life is something to get through rather than truly live. We feel this way when we are operating from our wounded self – our wounded inner child. 

Many people don’t realize that they are not fully alive because they’ve been surviving for so long that survival, which is the domain of the wounded self, feels normal. But your soul knows the difference. Your inner child longs to express itself, and when you are aligned with that expression, you come alive.

Ask yourself, “When was the last time I felt truly alive?”

There are a number of reasons why many people feel disconnected from their aliveness. Many children were not encouraged regarding their passion and purpose. Instead, you might have been taught to be good, be responsible, be productive, be pleasing, be practical, and be safe. You might have learned early on that certain parts of you were welcome, while others were rejected.

I was an intense child and I’m an intense adult. But my intensity was not welcome in my family. I was often told to “calm down.” Even though I knew from the time I was five that I wanted to be a psychologist, I wasn’t encouraged to even go to college. Instead, I was just supposed to get married and have children as soon as possible. I did get married and have children, but not until after I graduated from college, and I finished my education after I had children. My parents never understood or encouraged my passion to be of help to others.

My joy felt like “too much” for them. I was a very creative child, but my creativity wasn’t particularly valued. I’m a highly sensitive person and my sensitivity was completely dismissed. My curiosity was judged and my passions ignored. But my inner knowing what I wanted to do in my life was so deeply rooted that I followed what felt alive anyway, and I’m so glad I did! 

What about you? Did you learn to shut down parts of yourself in order to belong, to be accepted, to avoid rejection or even punishment? This is how aliveness gets buried. But the good news is that you didn’t lose it – you buried it to protected it. But over time, protection can turn into numbness, which leads to not knowing what makes you feel alive.

Some of my clients say things like, “I don’t know what I want.” “I don’t feel passionate about anything.” “I feel tired all the time.” “I feel disconnected from myself.” This is a sign of long-term self-abandonment, ignoring your inner child who knows what has heart and meaning for you. Aliveness disappears when the loving adult is not present to encourage the soul’s true expression.

Before we move on, this is exactly why I created my Passionate Purpose, Vibrant Health 30-Day course. If you’re looking to find your aliveness and the health to pursue it, in this course I walk you through how to achieve this. You can learn more in the description below.

One of the main blocks to coming alive comes from the wounded self who might be living from compliance or obligation instead of from the inspiration of your soul’s knowing.

Compliance or obligation from the wounded self sounds like, “I should do this.” “I have to.” “This is expected.” “It’s the responsible thing.” “My parents or partner will be disappointed if I don’t.” Acting from compliance or obligation drains your energy and can even make you sick from the stress.

Aliveness sounds like “This is uplifting to me. It matters to me. It’s important to me. I’m drawn to it and it lights me up. This is what feel true to me.” Your passion for something generates your feelings of aliveness and vitality.

When you live primarily from your wounded self – from compliance or obligation, life feels heavy. When you live from the inspiration of your soul – your inner child, life feels meaningful – even when it’s challenging. This doesn’t mean you avoid responsibility. It means you stop sacrificing your inner child on the altar of approval.

The question becomes: “How can I honor my responsibilities without abandoning what makes me come alive? What does my soul long to express that can also lead to productivity and financial safety?” These are the kinds of question the loving adult asks.

Aliveness does not come from being impulsive or reckless, nor is it about escaping your responsibilities. True passion that brings aliveness comes from the loving adult being tuned into your soul’s blueprint, the blueprint you were born with regarding what you came here to offer the planet. We are all born with this blueprint, and the more you practice Inner Bonding, developing your trustworthy loving adult, the more your inner child will let you in on this blueprint.

While your wounded self may give you all kinds of reasons why you can’t follow what brings you joy and makes you feel alive, the loving adult values the promptings of your soul, honors your truth, and supports your passions, while at the same time respecting your limits and your responsibilities.

The loving adult doesn’t allow the resistance of the wounded self to stop you with downer advice, such as “Be careful.” “Stay small and don’t risk to be safe.” Or “It’s too late,” or “You’ll be judged,” or “You’ll fail, so don’t even try.” Or “Who do you think you are?” or “That’s so unrealistic.” 

The loving adult is open to learning and says things like, “Let’s explore this.”
 “Your joy matters to me.” “You are allowed to follow your bliss.” “We don’t have to rush into this. We can take this step by step.” “We can learn from failure, but we don’t need to let that fear stop us.”

The loving adult does all it can to make you feel safe to pursue what brings you joy and makes you feel alive, and when you feel internally safe, your creativity, curiosity, passion, and purpose naturally emerge.

From a spiritual perspective, expressing the passion that brings you aliveness is not optional – it’s why you are here. Your soul came into this body to express something unique, the special gifts that you were born with. It’s not about being impressive – it’s about feeling alive, because aliveness is how spirit moves through you.

When you are alive inside, your presence can be healing to others. Your joy can uplift others, and your authenticity can inspire others. Your higher frequency contributes to the higher frequency of the planet, which is exactly what we need right now. The planet needs for you to be devoted to fully expressing who you are. The world does not need more exhausted, disconnected people doing what they think they “should.”

The world needs people who are alive and your aliveness can be contagious. It can awaken others and bring them hope. It can ignite their creativity that may bring new solutions to our ailing planet.

Here are some ways to begin reconnecting with what makes you come alive:

Stop following other’s expectations or the expectations of your wounded self. Notice and follow what gives you energy and brings you joy, rather than what drains your energy or numbs you out. Joy is your inner child letting you know you are on the right track. 

Another way of tuning what make you feel alive is to remember what you loved before you were told who or how to be. What brought joy as a child? It might not be something you can do for your vocation, but even if it’s an avocation, it can bring you a sense of aliveness. And sometimes hobbies can turn into your vocation.

When you go into a bookstore, what books do you go for? Sometimes this is a clue to your passion and purpose. 

Since aliveness is a manifestation of authenticity, having the courage to speak your truth in the moment can bring a sense of aliveness, whereas abandoning your inner child by giving in to others’ expectations can bring a sense of dullness or depression.

You might want to ask daily, “What would feel life-giving today?” “What would bring me joy today?” “What fills my heart and soul with a sense of purpose?”

Even little new choices can lead to big shifts.

If today’s episode resonated with you and you’re ready to discover what makes you feel alive, I invite you to join me for my 30-Day online experience, Passionate Purpose, Vibrant Health! It’s designed for anyone who wants to discover your passionate purpose, enhance your creativity and create a joyful vibrantly alive and healthy life! This is a powerful course to help you tune into what truly has heart and meaning for you. You’ll find the link in the description.

Thank you for joining me today and I’m sending you my love and my blessings on your journey to aliveness.